| For many couples, the desire to have a baby is often | | | | But her neighbours, relatives and friends were literally |
| overwhelming. But when one parent is HIV positive, | | | | against it. They basically all have the same message |
| the need to protect the child becomes an | | | | for her. 'What if you really die in 12 years time, what |
| overwhelming concern as well. | | | | is going to happen to your kid?'; 'What if you kid is |
| So, you can just imagine the struggles or sufferings | | | | also HIV-positive, how is he and your family going to |
| of these couples to reconcile the desire for | | | | deal with this new burden?' 'How are you going to |
| motherhood in relation to being HIV positive. | | | | explain to your child that you knew very well from |
| Five years ago, I had a colleague who was HIV | | | | the start that the chances of him/her (kid) having |
| positive but she still insisted on getting pregnant. | | | | HIV was very great?' |
| During one of our coffee breaks, she related to me | | | | Those psychological assaults were very hurting, of |
| the torment she had to endure when received the | | | | course, and she reflected upon it for a long time. She |
| news that she was HIV positive, especially in relation | | | | finally made the decision to have a baby by using the |
| to her lifelong dreams of having a baby one day. | | | | argument that normal healthy folks also have risks in |
| Everything was thrown out of the window, so to | | | | that they may give birth to children with birth |
| speak and getting pregnant was put in the back | | | | defects and nobody can guarantee a perfect baby |
| burner because she was told that the longest she | | | | no matter the health status of the parents. |
| could live was for another 12 years. But eventually, | | | | Hence, she reckoned what she was doing was not a |
| the thoughts about having a baby crept back and | | | | selfish one and took the plunge by working very |
| she begun asking questions like - are there people | | | | closely with her doctors. |
| with HIV and yet have normal HIV-negative babies? | | | | So how did the story end for her. Well, the baby |
| The thought that she may passed on the HIV to her | | | | turned out okay, free of HIV, but my ex-colleague is |
| kid was there, of course but after combing | | | | now in a financially and physically bad shape, having |
| information over cyberspace, she knew that there | | | | to go for treatment and all. |
| was a two per cent chance that her baby may turn | | | | But till this day, she still held on to the belief that |
| up to be healthy and HIV-negative. So, she was all | | | | what she did was not an irresponsible action but |
| for taking that risk. | | | | rather an informed choice. |