| Several of our authors including Prof Buchi Emecheta | | | | stall the marriage and tear the whole plan apart. High |
| have centered their works on the Bride-price in Africa | | | | bride-price can be used to achieve this plan. |
| but only few have been in fervent advocacy for | | | | Our ladies are left with no option than to succumb to |
| considerations literarily intervening to bring down | | | | African insidious stall plans called bride-price. If the |
| costly requests usually put up by our elders in | | | | demand of bride-price must be made, our African |
| demand for bride-price and dowries. African writers | | | | elders must be thought to be reasonable after all, the |
| and all friends of the continent who wish us well | | | | era of slave trade is past, that is all we make them |
| should openly speak against incessant and | | | | understand. Demand for non traditional items like |
| unreasonable demand for money which we term | | | | umbrella, shoes, etc must become things of the past |
| bride-price. We often neglect this aspect of our social | | | | if our daughters are to become happily married to |
| life, which has become terribly demanding on us, and | | | | men of their choice. |
| continues to waste the lives of our daughters who | | | | Elders who want to live on bride-price, dowries, food |
| should be living happily with their heartthrobs. | | | | and drinks from funeral should be taken care of by |
| The time has come when we shall all rise up against | | | | their own children, and must not be let lose to sit |
| our elders in the village, who sit down and expect | | | | down to dictate how tradition demanded it in the |
| news of marriage of daughters they contributed | | | | past or series of precedents set in other |
| nothing in rearing. No news excites our elders in the | | | | communities. It particularly grieves me to listen to our |
| village more than that of someone is asking for the | | | | elders ask questions on how it was when their sons |
| hand of our daughter, I think the war has begun | | | | went to that very village to marry a daughter of |
| already, with traditional marriages now taking place | | | | theirs. How much was demanded from them as |
| outside our hometowns, in current places of abode, | | | | dowries, why should there even be bargaining and |
| the stronghold of our elders who sit down in villages | | | | haggling over a human being. |
| and expect “settlements” (Money) is | | | | These things are increasing the number of able men |
| increasingly under threat. | | | | in our society who are denied of marriage because |
| Families who oppose traditional marriages taking place | | | | they are expected to throw a very big party. We |
| outside one’s hometown have no valid reasons | | | | also hear there is this community in Nigeria where DJs |
| to do so, after all, tradition in this sense simply means | | | | are never allowed to play at marriages except live |
| fulfilling the traditional aspect of the marriage not | | | | bands. You are there advised to include live band in |
| particularly with regards to where it should take place. | | | | plan for marriage. My advice to the elders of this |
| People should made to get this clear, we should | | | | village is that they should be put a stop to it |
| condemn the situation, our elders, vehemently reject | | | | immediately, music is music, no matter where the |
| the fulfillment of traditional marriages except it holds | | | | sound blares from, it still makes sense and danceable |
| in the village for personal gains. | | | | too. |
| We also have a situation whereby people who know | | | | Unimaginable contents in what has come to be |
| nothing about how a girl-child was reared would | | | | known as marriage list should also be reasonable; a |
| simply because he understands the child to have | | | | situation whereby such list contains unnecessary |
| been educated up to tertiary level would demand for | | | | items and unconceivable amount of alcohols and |
| so much as a result of educational background. In the | | | | expensive wines should be given re-consideration if |
| first place, educational background should not form a | | | | our children must become some of the married |
| yardstick for determining how much bride-price should | | | | couples in our society. Remember that if you |
| be paid for the head of a child. In first place, it | | | | unnecessary make certain unattainable demands |
| baffles me on how the child nothing is known of by | | | | today because you are giving out your girl-child to |
| our elders now suddenly becomes a child of the | | | | another family tomorrow, your male child will require |
| entire village just because the issue of bride-price is | | | | you to accompany him to another family from |
| at hand. | | | | another background entirely where you will haggle |
| No matter how hard a single parent has worked to | | | | over unattainable demands to get your son married, |
| raise her daughter, when an issue concerns marriage | | | | and if you have no male child, your cousin may |
| she goes searching and begging elders who must not | | | | become a victim tomorrow, so stop the high demand |
| only preside over such a marriage but must also | | | | of this bride-price today and you will have |
| dictate how much should be involved for the | | | | discouraged prostitution, HIV/AIDS spread and |
| workability of the marriage. Unhappy elders use the | | | | irresponsible life-style in our African society. |
| opportunity to make unrealistic demands insidiously to | | | | |